Emilie Meyer
Pansexuality is a sexual orientation where a person experiences romantic, emotional, and sexual attraction to others regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. Pansexual people are attracted to all genders, including non-binary and genderqueer identities. The term is derived from the Greek pan, meaning everything, and the Latin sexus, meaning gender. While pansexuality is often confused with bisexuality, the key difference is that bisexuality implies attraction to men and women, the two traditional genders, whereas pansexuality implies gender neutrality.
| Characteristics | Values | |
|---|---|---|
| Definition | The potential for attraction — romantically, emotionally, or sexually — to people of all genders, or to people all across the gender spectrum | |
| Attraction | Not attracted to every single human on the planet. | |
| Gender | Gender is meaningless in determining attractiveness. | |
| Sexual and romantic relationships | Can engage in relationships with people of any gender, not constraining themselves. | |
| Comparison with bisexuality | Bisexuality implies attraction to men and women, the two traditional genders. Bisexuals may be attracted to those identifying as men or women, but not necessarily to transgender or non-binary people. | |
| Comparison with omnisexuality | Omnisexuals are attracted to all genders, including men, women, transgender and non-binary individuals. However, unlike pansexuals, omnisexuals still emphasize the gender of the person. | |
| Finding partners | The process of finding a partner may not be as straightforward. Many pansexuals use specialized dating apps and sites geared toward the LGBTQ+ community. |
What You'll Learn
Pansexual vs Bisexual
Pansexuality and bisexuality are similar but distinct sexual orientations. Both pansexual and bisexual people can be attracted romantically, emotionally, or sexually to multiple genders. However, a key difference lies in the role that gender plays in their attractions.
Pansexuality is defined as the potential for attraction to people of all genders, regardless of their gender identity. People who identify as pansexual do not categorise potential partners according to gender and view everyone as human beings. Pansexuality is often associated with gender neutrality, implying that gender is not a defining factor in romantic or sexual attraction. It is important to note that pansexual people are not attracted to every single person; rather, they have the potential for attraction to anyone, regardless of gender.
Bisexuality, on the other hand, is defined as the potential for attraction to people of two or more genders, not necessarily including all genders. Bisexual individuals may still consider gender as a factor in their attractions and may experience different types of attraction towards different genders. Bisexuality has always been inclusive of non-binary and gender non-conforming individuals, contrary to the misconception that it refers exclusively to attraction towards men and women.
Some individuals may identify as both pansexual and bisexual, as there can be overlap between the two orientations. Ultimately, the choice of label depends on personal preference and how one relates to the cultural usage of these terms.
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Pansexual vs Omnisexual
The terms pansexual and omnisexual are often used interchangeably, but there are differences between the two. Pansexuality and omnisexuality are both terms that fall under the multisexual umbrella. People who identify as omnisexual are attracted to those of all gender identities and sexual orientations. Pansexual people are also attracted to people of any gender identity, but they are gender-blind, meaning they feel attraction without noticing the gender of potential partners.
The prefix "omni" means "all" in Latin, while "pan" means "all" in Greek. While both pansexual and omnisexual people are attracted to people of all genders, omnisexual people may have a preference for certain genders or gender expressions. Omnisexual people are aware of the gender of the person they are attracted to, and gender may play a role in this attraction. Pansexual people, on the other hand, are not aware of or do not consider the gender of the person they are attracted to. They may be offended by being classified as bisexual because gender does not play a role in their attraction.
The distinction between pansexuality and omnisexuality is subtle and exists on an individual basis. Some people may identify strongly as one or the other, while others may feel that both labels apply to them. It's important to respect how individuals choose to identify themselves.
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What does being pansexual feel like?
Being pansexual can mean different things to different people. However, there are some common threads that unite the experiences of those who identify as pansexual.
Pansexuality is defined as the romantic, emotional, and/or sexual attraction to people regardless of their gender. This means that a pansexual person may be attracted to some people and not others, but the gender of the person is not a factor in their attraction.
Some pansexual people say that their orientation has nothing to do with gender. They may feel that gender, genitals, and sex have no bearing on who they are attracted to, and that it all comes down to the person's personality and vibe. For example, one person who identifies as pansexual said, ""I've found that being pansexual is extremely empowering as a woman. I don't feel defined by the ridiculous gender roles of our society... I wouldn't go so far [as] to say I'm gender-blind, but I work off energy. If I dig your energy, I dig you."
However, not all pansexual people feel this way. Some feel that someone's gender does play a role in their attraction, but they are still attracted to people of all genders.
It's important to note that pansexual people, like anyone else, may have preferences and are not necessarily attracted to every single person they meet. Pansexuality is also not the same as polyamory, and pansexual people are just as likely to prefer monogamy as heterosexual or homosexual people.
If you are trying to figure out if you are pansexual, it can be helpful to ask yourself some questions, such as:
- Have I developed attraction to someone without knowing their gender or pronouns before?
- What are the genders of people I’ve historically been attracted to?
- When I think about my ideal mate(s), does gender play a (big) role?
- How does identifying as pansexual make me feel?
Remember that only you can determine if you are pansexual, and that figuring it out might take some self-reflection and exploration of your sexual, romantic, and emotional desires. It's also important to know that you are not obligated to label your sexuality, and that it's okay if your understanding of your sexuality evolves over time.
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How do you know if you're pansexual?
A person who identifies as pansexual is someone who can be emotionally, romantically, and/or sexually attracted to anyone regardless of their gender identity. The prefix "pan" means "all", so pansexuality is often described as falling under the bisexuality umbrella, along with labels like omnisexual, polysexual, bi-curious, queer, and sexually fluid. It might be used to indicate that a person has attraction to all genders or that gender identity isn't an important variable in their attraction to other people.
Pansexual vs bisexual: What are the differences?
How is pansexuality different from bisexuality? The two identities are not interchangeable, but they are very similar in a few key ways. And some people might identify as both. Bisexual people tend to be described as being attracted to two or more genders versus all genders. But to say there is a stark distinction, a line that can never be crossed, is false. Many of the stereotypes about pansexuality are the same ones that plague bisexuals (and lead many people to feel like they’re not “allowed” to identify as bisexual).
How to know if you might be pansexual
The biggest factor is what resonates with you and feels authentic. If it strikes a chord when you hear someone describe being attracted to “hearts, not parts” or “a variety of genders,” pansexuality might be an apt label for you. Other people might be pansexual and use the label differently than you do, or they might describe similar feelings to you and use different words. And that’s okay.
How to talk to your loved ones about your sexual identity
You may need to be prepared for people to not immediately understand. With those people, it is recommended to start at a "101 level". One potential script that they offer is: "I’m not straight. I’m not gay. I like people from a variety of genders, and the word I use for that is 'pansexual.'". You can then explain to friends and family what this label means for you and how it impacts your life.
Resources for better understanding pansexuality
Where can you learn more? It is recommended to connect with people online or in person at LGBTQ+ events, adding, “There’s not really a substitute for finding other people like yourself to answer, ‘Is it okay to be me’”. It can also be extremely helpful to find an LGBTQ+ therapist who may have similar lived experiences to you, or a non-LGBTQ+ (but culturally competent) therapist who specializes in caring for people in the LGBTQ+ community.
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How to accept yourself as pansexual
Understanding pansexuality
Pansexuality is defined as the romantic, emotional, and/or sexual attraction to people regardless of their gender. People of any gender identity can identify as pansexual. The prefix "pan" means "all" or "every", and pansexuality is often described as falling under the bisexuality umbrella.
Knowing if you're pansexual
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Have I developed an attraction to someone without knowing their gender or pronouns?
- What are the genders of people I've historically been attracted to?
- Does gender play a role in my ideal partner?
- How does identifying as pansexual make me feel?
- How does saying the word "pansexual" make me feel?
Accepting yourself
- Love yourself for who you are. Acceptance and understanding of your sexuality may take time, but it's important to live an honest life, free of guilt and shame.
- Practice positive self-talk. Replace negative thoughts with positive mantras.
- Recognise that your self-acceptance journey may impact others. Coming out to friends, family, and coworkers can be stressful, so start with those you trust first.
- Surround yourself with supportive people. Isolation is painful, so having a friend or support group can offer advice and comfort.
- Talk to someone you trust about your sexuality. If you don't have anyone to talk to, consider journaling to help release your emotions.
- See a counsellor or therapist. Accepting and processing your sexual identity can be a long and difficult process, and a trained therapist can assist you in navigating this journey.
- Continue to do what you enjoy. Your sexuality is just a small part of who you are, so live your life and do what you love!
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Frequently asked questions
Pansexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person experiences romantic, emotional, and sexual attraction to others regardless of their gender identity or biological sex. Pansexual people are attracted to people of all genders, including non-binary and transgender people.
Bisexuality is defined as the potential for attraction—romantically, emotionally, or sexually—to people of more than one gender, not necessarily at the same time, in the same way, or to the same degree. Pansexuality, on the other hand, implies gender neutrality, meaning that gender is not a factor in determining attraction.
Signs of pansexuality include being attracted to people regardless of gender, feeling that labels like "bisexual" do not accurately describe your sexuality, and feeling a sense of comfort and positivity when identifying as pansexual.
Self-reflection and self-acceptance are key to understanding your sexual orientation. Asking yourself questions about your attractions, such as whether you have felt attracted to someone without knowing their gender or pronouns, can help you gain clarity. Remember that sexual orientation is determined by self-identification, so only you can decide if you are pansexual.
