Tiffany Haney
In her book 'Lessons for Women', Pan Chao describes marriage as a union where the husband is at the top of the pyramid of authority, and the wife is expected to subjugate herself to him and serve him. She emphasizes the need for a lasting devotion by the wife towards her husband and advocates for harmony and intimacy in the relationship. Pan Chao also highlights the importance of respect for the elderly, especially the mother-in-law, whose authority in the household is supreme. According to Pan Chao, a successful husband is capable of ruling over the family and guiding his wife without resorting to violence or harsh words. She believed that a woman should only marry once in her life, even if her husband passes away.
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What You'll Learn
The husband is authoritative and the wife is subservient
In her work, "Lessons for Women", Pan Chao describes a woman's role in marriage as one of subservience to her husband. She asserts that the husband should be authoritative and the wife should serve him. This dynamic is justified as a natural order, akin to the relationship between Yin and Yang, which cannot be separated.
Pan Chao's description of marriage places the husband at the top of a pyramid of authority. The wife is expected to devote herself wholly to her husband and maintain proper behaviour to gain and hold his affection. This includes following his rules and being obedient, with the understanding that the husband is capable of ruling the family successfully.
The husband, on the other hand, is expected to refrain from using harsh words or physical violence against his wife. Instead, he should guide her and instruct her on social norms and domestic duties. Pan Chao emphasizes the need for harmony and intimacy between the couple, suggesting that their relationship should be one of mutual love and respect, despite the clear power imbalance.
In addition to her duties to her husband, Pan Chao also instructs women to obey their mothers-in-law and other older relatives, regardless of whether they agree with their opinions or actions. This extends to all male relatives, including the wife's brothers, brothers-in-law, and father, if she is unmarried.
Pan Chao's teachings reflect the societal norms of her time, particularly within Confucian society, which often featured complex family structures with multiple wives and concubines. Her work provided a set of easily learned rules for women to follow, helping to impose order and decorum within families.
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The husband must be worthy to govern his wife
In her work "Lessons for Women", Pan Chao, also known as Ban Zhao, describes the husband's role in marriage as one of authority and governance over his wife. She asserts that a husband must be worthy of governing his wife and that this governance should be carried out with balance and harmony.
Zhao's views on marriage are influenced by the Confucian society of her time, which sought to impose order on complex and often unruly families. She establishes a hierarchy within the family, with the husband at the top, followed by the wife, and then other male relatives. This reflects the belief that a husband's authority is absolute and that a wife should devote herself wholly to her husband and serve him.
For Zhao, the success of a husband's governance lies in his ability to rule without resorting to violence or harsh words. She emphasizes that a husband should guide his wife, instructing her on proper behaviour and social norms. This guidance is deemed necessary due to the lack of education for women during that period.
Furthermore, Zhao suggests that a husband's worthiness to govern is tied to his ability to maintain harmony and intimacy in the marriage. She implies that a husband should not only govern but also love his wife, creating a balance in their relationship. This balance is essential to upholding the natural order, which, according to Zhao, is symbolized by the marriage between a man and a woman.
While Zhao's teachings may seem restrictive to modern readers, they were designed to provide guidance to women in a society with limited education and complex family dynamics. By outlining the roles and expectations within marriage, Zhao offered a sense of structure and order to Confucian families.
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The wife must obey her mother-in-law
In her Lessons for Women, Pan Chao (also known as Ban Zhao) describes the ideal relationship between a husband and wife as one of "Yin and Yang", with the husband at the top of the "pyramid of authority". According to her, the wife must accord respect to her husband and obey him. This extends to the other men in the family, including the father-in-law and brothers-in-law.
Pan Chao's views on the relationship between a wife and her mother-in-law are clear and direct. She asserts that the wife must obey her mother-in-law at all times, regardless of whether she agrees with her or not. The mother-in-law is seen as the supreme authority in the home, and the wife is expected to sacrifice her personal opinions and conform to the mother-in-law's wishes. This dynamic is an integral part of the Confucian societal structure, which places a strong emphasis on respect for elders.
Pan Chao's instruction to obey the mother-in-law without question may seem restrictive and unfair by modern standards. However, it is important to understand the context in which these lessons were written. During the Han Dynasty, women often lacked access to education and were expected to fulfil specific domestic duties. As a result, they were considered to need guidance and direction from the men in their family.
Pan Chao's Lessons for Women provided a set of easily learned rules of behaviour that could help bring order and harmony to complex family structures. By advising women to subjugate themselves to the male authority figures in the family, she offered a path to stability and a way to navigate the expectations of the time. While the dynamic between a wife and her mother-in-law may have been challenging, Pan Chao's teachings reflect her desire to empower women with knowledge and a set of guidelines to navigate their roles successfully.
In conclusion, while the idea of unquestioning obedience to one's mother-in-law may seem outdated today, it was a reflection of the societal norms and expectations of Pan Chao's time. Her Lessons for Women provided a roadmap for women navigating complex family dynamics and helped shape the understanding of female conduct in Confucian society.
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Marriage is a lifelong commitment
In traditional Chinese society, marriage was a lifelong commitment, and Pan Chao's "Lessons for Women" reflects this view. According to Chao, a woman should marry only once, even if her husband dies. This idea of marrying once is presented as a key principle in her text, suggesting that a life without marriage is a life without purpose.
In the Confucian society of the time, families were often complex, with multiple wives, concubines, and children. Pan Chao's work aimed to bring order to these households by providing women with clear rules of conduct. She instructed women to subjugate themselves to the men in the family, with the husband or father at the top of the authority pyramid. This idea of lifelong commitment in marriage is further emphasized by Chao's belief that a wife should show lasting devotion to her husband and correct behaviour to gain and hold his affection.
Pan Chao's views on marriage also extended to a woman's relationship with her in-laws. She advised that a daughter-in-law must obey her parents-in-law, particularly the mother-in-law, without questioning their morality. This dynamic is described as a natural order, where the husband governs, and the wife serves, mirroring the relationship between Yin and Yang. According to Chao, harmony and intimacy between husband and wife are crucial, and the husband should not beat or use harsh words toward his wife.
While Pan Chao's teachings may seem restrictive by modern standards, they were designed to guide women in their roles within the family and promote stability in the complex social structure of ancient China. Her work, "Lessons for Women," continues to offer valuable insights into the expectations and norms surrounding marriage and family life during that historical period.
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Respect for elders is paramount
In her work "Lessons for Women", Pan Chao, also known as Ban Zhao, outlines her views on the conduct of women in marriage. One of the key principles that she emphasizes is the importance of respecting elders, particularly in-laws.
Pan Chao writes that a daughter-in-law must obey her parents-in-law and always show them supreme respect. She advises that a daughter-in-law should be like an "echo and a shadow" to her in-laws, implying that she should be obedient and deferential. This respect for elders is paramount, regardless of any differences in opinion or personal views.
In the Confucian society of China during Pan Chao's time, families often included multiple wives and concubines, along with many children. This complex family structure could often lead to conflicts and chaos within households. Pan Chao's teachings aimed to bring order and harmony to these families by establishing a clear hierarchy based on respect for elders.
According to Pan Chao, a woman should subjugate herself to the men in the family, first to her father if she is unmarried, and then to her husband if she marries. This subjugation includes showing respect not only to her husband and father but also to her brothers, brothers-in-law, father-in-law, and other male relatives. By placing the husband at the top of the authority pyramid, Pan Chao reinforces the idea that respect for elders, especially the husband, is a cornerstone of a harmonious marriage.
Furthermore, Pan Chao emphasizes that a woman's devotion to her husband should be wholehearted and lasting. She asserts that the marriage agreement is final and grants the husband absolute power over his wife. To maintain harmony in the marriage, the wife must behave properly and correctly, and the husband must rule the family successfully without resorting to harsh words or physical abuse. This mutual respect and balance in the marital relationship are essential to Pan Chao's teachings.
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Frequently asked questions
Pan Chao believed that a woman should marry once and remain devoted to her husband even after his death.
Pan Chao believed that a husband should have authority over his wife and that the wife should serve her husband. However, she also emphasised that the husband must be worthy of this position and should not beat or harm his wife.
According to Pan Chao, a daughter-in-law must obey her in-laws, particularly the mother-in-law, and should not question their morality.
Pan Chao believed that marriage is founded on the principles of "Yin and Yang", representing the natural order of the relationship between a man and a woman.
