Cody Casey
Bisexuality, pansexuality, and polysexuality are distinct sexual orientations with some overlap. Bisexuality is the attraction to more than one gender, while pansexuality is the attraction to all genders, and polysexuality is the attraction to many people. There is no wrong way to define or label yourself, and it is okay to use a label even if you are not completely sure. If you are unsure whether you are attracted to someone, you can go on a date with them and see how you feel.
Characteristics of bisexuality and pansexuality
| Characteristics | Bisexuality | Pansexuality |
|---|---|---|
| Definition | Generally refers to an attraction to more than one gender | Generally defined as attraction regardless of gender |
| Attraction to all genders | No | Yes |
| Attraction to multiple genders | Yes | Yes |
| Acknowledges gender binary | No, but some people associate the prefix "bi" with a gender binary | No, the term is chosen because it does not acknowledge a gender binary |
| Romantic attraction | A person can be bisexual and have a different type of romantic orientation, such as polyromantic | A person can be pansexual and have a different type of romantic orientation, such as panromantic |
| Overlap | There is considerable overlap between bisexuality and pansexuality | There is considerable overlap between bisexuality and pansexuality |
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What You'll Learn
Reflect on your romantic history
Reflecting on your romantic history can be a helpful way to gain clarity about your sexuality. However, it is important to remember that your sexual and romantic history does not necessarily reflect your sexual orientation. Your dating patterns are not determinative of your identity.
That being said, reflecting on your past romantic experiences can help you understand your sexual orientation. Consider how you have responded to people romantically in the past. Think about your ex-partners and how you felt towards them. Ask yourself what type of people you are drawn towards and why. For example, you might be attracted to people who are tall with dark hair and a good sense of humour, regardless of gender. This could suggest that gender is not a significant factor in your romantic and sexual interests, which may indicate that pansexual is a more suitable term for you.
It is also important to recognise that bisexuality and pansexuality are distinct identities, but they can overlap. Bisexuality can be defined as the romantic or sexual attraction to multiple genders. This does not necessarily imply a binary attraction to men and women, as the prefix "bi" does not refer to a gender binary. Pansexuality, on the other hand, suggests an attraction to all genders. However, pansexual people can still have preferences, and it does not mean they are "gender-blind".
If you find that you are attracted to multiple genders but tend to have a preference for one gender over others, you might identify as bisexual or pansexual with a "mixed orientation" or "cross orientation". For example, you could be bisexual but homoromantic, meaning you are sexually attracted to multiple genders but only romantically attracted to people of the same or a similar gender as you.
Remember, there is no right or wrong answer when it comes to sexual orientation. It is about getting to know yourself and what you like and prefer. You might identify with multiple terms or change the way you describe your sexual orientation over time. Choose the term that you are most comfortable with and form an opinion about which term best represents your identity.
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Consider the people you're attracted to
When it comes to understanding your sexual orientation, it can be empowering to find a term that defines your experience of attraction. If you're unsure whether you're bi, pan, or poly, reflecting on the people you're attracted to can be a helpful place to start. Here are some things to consider:
Your Romantic History
Reflecting on your past romantic relationships and attractions can provide valuable insight. Consider the gender identities of your previous partners and whether you've had romantic or physical attractions to people of different genders. Recognize that sexual behaviour does not dictate orientation; you may have only dated people of one gender but still experienced attractions to others. Your attractions may have varied over time, and you may find that your orientation is not static but evolves throughout your life.
Your Attractions and Interests
Spend time examining your daily experiences of attraction and romantic interest. What types of people are you drawn to, and why? Are there common qualities or traits that attract you, regardless of gender? For example, you might find yourself attracted to people with a strong sense of humour, dark hair, or a particular personality type, regardless of their gender identity. Recognizing these patterns can help clarify whether gender is a significant factor in your attractions.
Your Preferences
Consider whether your attractions tend to favour specific gender identities or expressions. For example, you might find yourself primarily attracted to people who are gender-fluid, non-binary, or transgender. Alternatively, you might experience attractions to people of all gender identities. Reflect on whether your attractions are influenced by physical characteristics typically associated with certain genders or if they transcend these boundaries.
Your Comfort and Identification
Ultimately, the labels you choose should feel comfortable and empowering. You might identify with both bi and pansexual labels or find that one term resonates more strongly than the others. Remember that human sexuality is complex, and there is no one-size-fits-all definition. Your choice of label may also be influenced by your personal history, the language available to you when you came out, and your comfort level with explaining your orientation to others.
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Understand the overlap between bisexuality and pansexuality
Bisexuality and pansexuality are related but distinct concepts, and there is some overlap between the two. Both terms describe sexual orientations, but they differ in the range of gender identities to which a person is attracted.
Bisexuality generally refers to an attraction to more than one gender. However, the term is controversial to some, as it implies that there are only two genders. Many people who identify as bisexual acknowledge that there are multiple genders. Some people who identify as bisexual may feel attracted to those who are gender-fluid, men, or non-binary, but not women, for example.
Pansexuality, on the other hand, is typically defined as an attraction to all genders, regardless of their gender identity. This includes people who are agender, male, female, non-binary, or any other gender. However, it is important to note that identifying as pansexual does not mean feeling attracted to everyone, just as a heterosexual male does not feel an attraction to every female. Pansexuality can also be defined as an emotional attraction to a person regardless of their gender.
The distinction between the two identities is not always clear-cut, and a person's understanding of their sexual orientation may evolve over time. Some people who identify as bisexual may feel attracted to multiple genders, similar to the definition of pansexuality. Additionally, pansexuality is sometimes considered a branch of bisexuality, as attraction to all genders falls under the category of attraction to people of the same gender and different genders.
It is important to respect an individual's chosen label and not to confuse bisexuality with pansexuality, as they are separate identities within the LGBTQ+ community.
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Recognise that bisexuality does not imply a gender binary
Bisexuality is generally defined as an attraction to more than one gender. However, this does not imply a gender binary, or that bisexual people are only attracted to men and women. The current definition of bisexuality is not specifically binary, and many people who identify as bisexual acknowledge that there are multiple genders. Bisexual people may be attracted to those who are gender-fluid, men, or non-binary, for example.
The prefix "bi" in bisexual comes from the Greek for "two", and some people find this controversial, arguing that it reinforces the gender binary. However, this is a misunderstanding of the term, which has evolved to include everyone. The bisexual activist Robyn Ochs defines bisexuality as "the potential to be attracted—romantically and/or sexually—to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree".
Transgender activist Kate Bornstein wrote in 2013 that "bisexual movements don't get enough credit for breaking the either/or of sexual orientation". This shift in the definition of bisexuality has been around since at least 1990, with Ochs continually editing her definition between 2002 and 2005 based on conversations and feedback from bi+ communities.
It is important to note that bisexual people do not need to have equal sexual experiences or attraction to both men and women, and their attraction can take numerous forms, including sexual, romantic, emotional, or physical.
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Know that you can identify as both bi and pan
Bisexuality and pansexuality are both terms used to describe sexual orientation. However, they are related but distinct concepts, and there is no need to fit in with any term. Everyone is free to choose their own definition or resist any type of label if they so choose.
Bisexuality generally refers to an attraction to multiple genders. Some people who identify as bisexual may feel attracted to those who are gender-fluid, men, or non-binary but not women. However, bisexuality can mean different things to different people, and not everyone will agree on a single definition. For some, bisexuality might mean only feeling attracted to males and females, while for others, it can mean feeling attracted to multiple gender identities.
Pansexuality, on the other hand, is typically defined as attraction regardless of gender. People who identify as pansexual can feel an attraction to anyone, including those who do not identify as a specific gender, such as those who are agender. However, it is important to note that identifying as pansexual does not mean feeling attracted to everyone, just as a heterosexual male does not feel an attraction to every female.
While bisexuality and pansexuality are distinct concepts, there is some overlap between the two. For example, someone who identifies as bisexual may feel attracted to multiple genders, while also feeling that their attraction does not depend on gender. In this case, identifying as both bi and pan can be accurate. Both labels are valid, and it is not uncommon for individuals to identify with more than one type of sexuality.
Ultimately, the choice of how to identify rests with the individual, and it is important to respect their chosen label(s) and avoid making assumptions about their sexual orientation.
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Frequently asked questions
Bisexuality generally refers to feeling attracted to multiple genders. Reflect on your romantic history and the people you're attracted to. Do you find yourself attracted to more than one gender? If so, you might identify as bisexual.
Pansexuality is generally defined as attraction regardless of gender. If you find that gender is not a factor in your romantic or sexual interests, you might identify as pansexual.
No, you don't have to choose just one label. Many people identify as both bi and pansexual, as the terms are very similar. You can use the terms interchangeably or choose the one you're most comfortable with.
